I’m a traitor. An awful, evil traitor. An awful, evil traitor who has done the worst and most awful thing a traitor can do. By embarking on a journey to rid myself of this excess weight and aiming to become healthy and get fit, I am a traitor to the fat subculture.
A traitor to the fat subculture? Seriously? I don’t know how making your health a priority is betraying the overweight/obese population of the world, but there are a number of people out there who think what I’m doing right now is wrong. They say I should learn to accept myself. They say I should be happy with my size. They say a whole lot of other things too. I say Bah!
Yes, on the outside I present the appearance of being a happy, healthy fat person. I’ve got a loving husband, great friends, a good life. Hell, I could be the freaking spokesperson for Fat Acceptance. But guess what? I’m not healthy, I’m happy with the things in my life, but every day I’m packing this extra weight I feel bogged down, my body hurts, my knees creak, my lower back hurts if I stand for too long. Don’t get me wrong, I like who I am, but the way I feel is an entirely different story.
I appreciate what the Healthy at Every Size and Fat Acceptance Movements are trying to accomplish, but telling me I’m setting back their movements by trying to lose weight? You’ve got to be kidding me. I’m trying to prolong my life here!!!! And my very, very big other issue is those “fat” people who use FA and HAES as their excuse to not do anything, to eat whatever the hell they want, not exercise, and continue to scarf down potato chips while they watch the Biggest Loser on tv and scoff.
The sad reality is that most people who want to lose weight are jealous of those who have, and – while they won’t admit it – subconsciously want to see those people fail because it means they shouldn’t try. When I was in denial, sure I’d watch those makeover shows and the weight loss success stories, but in the back of my head I’d say “it can never last, they’ll just gain it all back again, and more.”
In the end, I guess I’m happy to be a traitor, if that’s what I am. This traitor’s gonna go back to eating her mini bag of 94% reduced fat popcorn, and can’t wait to get on the scale tonight for the official Weekly Weigh-in.