I am NOT a Doormat

I have no patience for people who treat me like crap. That being said, why is it I treated myself that way for so long?

In another time and place, when I was still a teenager, I excelled at letting myself be treated like a doormat. A big, gigantic doormat with the words “Welcome, Make Yourself at Home” scrawled across my forehead. When someone finally took advantage of that kindness and threw it in my face, I learned my lesson. After that day, I promised myself I’d never let someone do it to me again.

That didn’t stop me from treating my body like a doormat. For years I threw all kinds of junk at it all the time. And it didn’t mind the junk. . . at first. But, over time, my stomach grew more and more angry, and before you know it, turned on me – culminating in three years of daily heartburn medication. One would think after three years of heartburn I’d get the picture!! But I didn’t. Nope. So, the rest of my body began to turn on me! And I still didn’t get the picture?!?

*insert sounds of yelling at myself here*

Understand, my old self always placed the blame on anyone or anything or any place else. It was never my fault. And moving forward meant learning to accept that I did this to myself. Let me repeat that: I did this to myself.

It took me six months to wake up. Six months *after* I was placed on heart medication. Six months to finally give up the ghost and stop pretending I was just fine. And even then I wasn’t totally convinced, but I started trying.

Now I can say, nine months after waking up and seeing the bigger picture, that I got the message. It took a while to internalize, but I have the werewithal to stick with it and to treat myself with the respect I deserve. Because, yes, I deserve to be respected. I deserve to be healthy. I deserve to live a full and happy life.

So, my philosophy is pretty simple: Wake up in the morning and ask myself “am I going to treat myself like crap today?” When preparing to take a bite of that mozzarella stick ask “is this treating myself like crap?” Before skipping that workout because you’re too tired, same thing.

It boils down to this: I want to enjoy my life, therefore I cannot continue to treat myself/body like a doormat.

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About singingforasmallerme

I'm just a girl doing a thing. A little sarcastic, a little cynical, and a total sassbot. Nothing's off limits here, but my primary focus is weight loss. Still, you might find commentary on anything ranging from makeup to music to fashion to beer and dancing.
This entry was posted in Ramblings, The First Twenty Pounds, Weight loss and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

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